If you feel like you’re constantly balancing a thousand things and like you can’t figure out how to do it all, you’re not alone. We talked through why mental load tasks like grocery list making and meal planning and prepping are still so gendered—and what we can do, to find a better balance.
You can download this podcast episode from iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn Radio, or wherever else you get your podcasts— or listen to it below.
What is Mental Load?
Mental load is all of the invisible work that we carry around all day—the things we need to remember to do, pick up, clean, make, and schedule. It’s a fact of motherhood and frankly, it’s exhausting. And it’s almost always not shared equally by partners in a family, even if you set out to have an equal marriage.
Meet Darcy Lockman
Meet Darcy LockmanTo help reassure us that we’re not making this stress up, and to offer tangible tips, we talked with Darcy Lockman, author of All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership on the podcast this week. Darcy is a clinical psychologist practicing in New York City and also a journalist who has written for the NYT, WaPo and others.
She shared some of her own story from the book and the one single thing that’s the key to finding a better balance with these issues in our own relationships. Plus:
- Why women over 65 are more likely than men to live in poverty.
- Whether it’s maternal instinct at play—or cultural expectations or learned behaviors.
- The main difference between men and women when it comes to taking care of infants.
- How boys are raised to be “agentic” and what that means for girls.
- How to prioritize our own self-care, even when we have a lot to do.
You don’t want to miss it!
Plus: Unrelated
We shared a few listener questions in our unrelated section at the end of the show, and if you have a burning question or a follow up to this episode that you’d like to hear more about, leave it in the comments below or email us at comfortfoodpodcast at gmail.com.
I really enjoyed this episode but I wish there was more thought given to trans folks/ same sex partners. There’s a lot of data out there on these populations and how we live/love/distribute labor.
Yes, we’ve heard that from a few listeners and we really appreciate the feedback and TOTALLY acknowledge that we missed a wide swath of people. We will for sure include a wider range of relationships the next time we cover it. If you have any specific issues or questions, please let me know!