Welcome to YTF Community, a place to safely share in the challenges and joys of feeding our families.
Two years ago this month, my cookbook Dinnertime SOS: 100 Sanity-Saving Meals Parents and Kids of All Ages Will Actually Want to Eat was released into the world. It was a huge career moment for me—landing on the New York Times Bestsellers list was not something I even let myself dream was possible. Not to mention all of the hundreds of messages I got from families who used and loved the book.
And it came during one of the most challenging personal moments in my life—I had decided to get divorced, but it wasn’t public. I didn’t know what my life would look like in the coming months, how I would handle not being with my kids full time, what my readers might think of me publishing a family cookbook as my family was changing.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because so much of my life has changed since then. My kids and I are used to shared custody, with the kids going between homes each week. I have gotten better at feeding myself and noticing (and reacting with care) when my appetite disappears due to stress. I have also learned to enjoy being fed by others—particularly by my wonderful boyfriend, who has been a gift I truly did not see coming. I’ve had time, finally, to experience food for the joy of it.
And most importantly, I’ve been able to lower the self-induced pressure I had been in the habit of placing on the meals I feed my kids.
This last point is where I’m going to focus today. Because dropping more of my own internal checklist of mealtime “shoulds” has been the biggest game changer in reducing my kitchen stress. It’s the thing that has helped the most in my efforts to make the daily challenge of feeding everyone a little bit easier and a lot more manageable.
Here’s a little bit of how I’ve been able to do it—which I can now see all started with the tips I shared in the cookbook.
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The full post is for paid subscribers to the YTF Community. The vast majority of my content is free every day of the year, so if this topic is of interest to you, consider upgrading to a paid subscription to keep reading.
A subscription gets you: Paywalled essays, commenting with peers, weekly customizable meal plans, bonus recipes, and other fun perks.
If you’re already a member, login for access.
Members Only
The full post is for paid subscribers to the YTF Community. The vast majority of my content is free every day of the year, so if this topic is of interest to you, consider upgrading to a paid subscription to keep reading.
A subscription gets you: Paywalled essays, commenting with peers, weekly customizable meal plans, bonus recipes, and other fun perks.
If you’re already a member, login for access.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR MEMBERS
How to Create a Custom Meal Plan
THANK YOU! Yet another post from you that shares so much from your heart and says so much that I need to hear. Your posts very often speak to me in a way that makes me realize (and better understand!) something that is weighing on me as a mom feeding our family…usually something I don’t yet realize is weighing on me! Thank you so much for all of your work, but for also keeping this real. Reading your work, whether that’s an inspiring blog post or another recipe that we’re sure to love, always makes feeding my family way more fun and achievable. xo
I’m so glad and I appreciate the comment!
Needed this today. I have one toddler but have lost the adrenaline rush of early motherhood and all of the rules and structure that came with having a tiny baby and found myself floundering. I’m trying to be easier on myself and not see my child’s ability to eat as a reflection on my ability to effectively mother.
This really spoke to me. I am going through a divorce and felt like you were inside my mind putting a voice to my anxiety. I’ve been in a rut for a while now and in survival mode. As we head back into the school year I am grateful to have found your work. I feel supported by you! Thank you ❤️
You are so welcome and you are doing exactly what you need to be doing in survival mode-and you won’t always be there. Hang in there and thank you for commenting!
I felt this so deeply. I, too, decided to divorce last year and it was finalized in May. And just like you, meal times were so challenging at first until I realized that I now have the freedom to make dinner more about connecting and less about the perfectly balanced meal. “Snack dinners” are weekly staple now, and my boys and I simply enjoy being at the table together. Thank you for everything you’ve shared with this community – both food and life related. Your work means so much, and I love your book!
Thank you for commenting and I’m glad you have been able to feel some of this too!
Thank you dear Amy, it’s my birthday today and the relief after reading this is the best gift I’ve received. Please keep sharing with us. The sincere way you do it makes me feel so connected and understandood.
Happy birthday and I’m glad this came right on time for you!
Thank you dear Amy, it’s my birthday today and the relief after reading this is the best gift I’ve received. Please keep sharing with us. The sincere way you do it makes me feel so connected and understandood. Thank you!
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Thanks so much for sharing this and making all of us moms not feel so alone.
You’re so welcome and I really appreciate the comment!
Down an adult at my table, with just me and the kids, I had more freedom to simply do what I wanted. Meals became less…”square”, is the only way I can think to explain it. I didn’t have to make meat if I didn’t feel like it. (I almost never feel like it.) I could serve a snack dinner knowing no one would ask where the rest of dinner was. I could make buttered pasta again (and again) without any care at all that we had had it two nights before.
<3 <3 <3 the dream, thanks for sharing this post 🙂
And thank you for reading it!
Thank you for writing this, it’s something I really needed to hear today! In particular, the fact that kids don’t like every food and that is absolutely OK and in no way a reflection on my abilities as a mother. Trying to let go of the guilt of the fairly limited diet my child eats despite being offered a wide variety
You’re welcome and thank you for reading. I know it’s all so hard, so for me, finding small ways to let go of some of the pressure has made a little less fraught.